Seven Sentimental Touches

Sentimental can be defined as "expressing deep feelings." ( Encarta Dictionary: English, North America) The method of including sentimental touches into the wedding ceremony serves as the key to unlocking memories of deep feelings expressed on the wedding day.  Every wedding should express the uniqueness of the bride and groom.  Exploring what is truly a sentimental touch for each couple opens the wedding experience to lasting memories.

Unfortunately, too often couples simply accept tired old tradition rather than explore the possibilities of truly expressing their love and personalities.  It can be as simple as adjusting a time honored tradition to creating something that is truly an expression of their love. Seven Sentimental Touches are simple additions to make your wedding truly yours.  With all the planning that goes on for the reception and the staging of the wedding it makes sense to invest thought into the ceremony and the words being shared. For the ease of understanding we are going to use the name of Kelly for the bride and Ken for the groom to demonstrate each touch.  It is possible that the person officiating at your wedding is waiting for a chance to edit the boring.

Sentimental Touch #1 - Beyond the Standard Trinity Candle

This is written to enhance the role of the parents in the wedding service. It may be for those couples who are very close to their parents or those who seek affirmation of their parents blessings. This uses what has become the standard Trinity Candle set up with a intimate family twist.

Father or Mother of the Groom - "Kelly we kindle this flame with all the love we have shared with Ken bringing him to this day. Sharing our blessings upon all the prayers and good wishes you will receive on this your wedding day."  (One speaking while the other lights the grooms candle)   

Father or Mother of the Bride - "Ken we kindle this flame with all the love we have shared with Kelly bringing her to this day. Sharing our blessings upon all the prayers and good wishes you will receive on this your wedding day."  (One speaking while the other lights the brides candle)   

Bride and Groom - "Together in love, with blessings, prayers and good wishes we kindle the flame of our future with help from above" (Holding their candles as they speak and then lighting the center candle together. It is a choice whether to extinguish the individual candles or to leave them lit honoring the past.) 

More Traditional:

The Psalmist writes “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”  Such truth is magnified within marriage as unity is sanctified and necessary for each moment of each day. Symbolizing a desire for such unity Ken and Kelly will light the center unity candle. Demonstrating the unity they seek before God and this gathering in marriage. They will then allow the candles symbolizing their lives to continue to burn honoring those who have helped to bring them to this point of commitment and union.   (The choice to stand looking at each other through a song at this point may be more difficult than the couple realizes.)  

Sentimental Touch #2 - Blending More than Husband and Wife

It is simply a fact of modern weddings that often families are being brought together and adding the children into the ceremony can act as an effective bonding experience. The giving of the ring is a great place to show this to the world.

Minister - "Ken, What token of love do you give?"

Child or Children - "This ring which shows the love encircling our new family."

Minister - " Ken, Repeat after me... "Kelly, with this ring... I thee wed... and with all the love... of our new family... I thee endow... In the name of the Father... and the Son... and the Holy Spirit... Amen

Minister - "Kelly, What token of love do you give?"

Child or Children - "This ring which shows the love encircling our new family."

Minister - " Kelly, Repeat after me... "Ken, with this ring... I thee wed... and with all the love... of our new family... I thee endow... In the name of the Father... and the Son... and the Holy Spirit... Amen

Sentimental Touch #3 - Remembrance Candle

Often there is a dear loved one who has passed away before a couple marries. It may be a parent or grandparent whose absence impacts the heart of the bride or groom in a powerful way. One way to include them is a simple Remembrance Candle. Simply having an extra candle in the room has very little meaning to those gathered without clarification.

Minister - "Today we gather in the sight of God and this congregation in the light of this remembrance candle in memory of Kelly's Grandfather whose memory brings the glow of love and blessings."

Sentimental Touch #4 - Flowers for Mothers

Simplicity has its own unique charm which we discovered in our daughter's wedding. Having six attendants each plus a Maid of Honor and a Best Man we had a lot to work with. The bride and groom chose two vases that began the service empty on stands in the front of the service. The wedding party entered one at a time alternating male and female. Each one placed a single flower one color for the brides vase another for the grooms. The last two to enter were the bride's brother and the groom's sister who carried the opposite color placing it in the center of the vase, representing their sibling, creating a special arrangement for each mother.  

Minister - Kelly and Ken wish to acknowledge the great love of their parents as they give the arrangements made by the love gathered this day to their mothers.  (The groom gives his to the bride's mother and the bride gives hers to the groom's mother) (Kisses, Hugs, and Tears follow)

Sentimental Touch #5 - Blended Lives, Blended Sand

It is becoming a new custom to have the Bride and Groom pour sand into a vase that will be sealed with wax to symbolize the blending of their lives. Using two vivid colors of sand they create sand art that will be a keep sake. Not everyone will get the symbolism, the minister can help those gather grasp the moment.

Minister - Kelly and Ken now take two containers of sand representing their individual lives. Pouring the sand into a new container representing the new life they begin together. Kelly and Ken have found themselves incomplete without the other, inseparable as these grains of sand. So may they be blessed each day sharing each with the other.  (Practice this sand art in advance it's harder than it sounds.)

Alternate Wording:

Knowing the everlasting union of their vows, Ken and Kelly are creating a wedding keepsake pouring the vessels of colored sand representing self into a new vessel of marriage.  The sand mixes creating a new presence with the desire that their marriage will be as inseparable as the grains of sand blended as a new creation. Today you are witnesses as Ken and Kelly become one before God and as they walk in life together.

 Sentimental Touch #6 - The Words Spoken

The words that are said are truest when they come from your heart. Not everyone is a writer and your grammar may need assistance but the words of the heart are lasting. The words of the heart are the ultimate expression of being sentimental. Even if you use a form to get started as long as the completion is from you and you alone.  

Kelly, the first time we met I ...   The first time we kissed I ...  Kelly in that moment you said you'd marry me I knew ... and I will spend my life...

Ken, I knew the first time you ... My heart was full the moment you said ... and I will spend my life...

Sentimental Touch #7 - The First Kiss of Married Life

Your friends will want a show, it's not their wedding. This is the first moment of the rest of your life and it deserves to be precious. Set the stage of love and respect with a gentle loving kiss that will make old women cry and old men ashamed they failed to start the day the very same way.  Remember the tenderness of that moment and keep it in your heart each day, she will never need to cry and he will never be ashamed.